


The Way I Am

by stylinsondrabbles



Series: Songfic Drabble Collection (non-1D songs) [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Drabble, Falling In Love, Fluff, M/M, Memories, Reflection, X-Factor - Freeform, under 2k words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-02
Updated: 2015-05-02
Packaged: 2018-03-28 17:54:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3864202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stylinsondrabbles/pseuds/stylinsondrabbles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loosely based on the lyrics to "The Way I Am" by Ingrid Michaelson.</p><p>Or, the one where Louis talks about how he fell in love with Harry and how much it means to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Way I Am

Two weeks after our first kiss I knew. 

Back then of course I would never admit to falling in love with someone so quickly, so recklessly, but he tells me nowadays that he knew from when I first looked at him. Such a sap.

He seemed so much younger than me back then. We were both stupid kids playing hard to get, but we were both shit at it. Sometimes I’ll rewatch the videos of when we’d just watch each other, transfixed. I can’t believe how much we just put ourselves out there, but I don’t regret a single second of it.

First, I fell in love with the way he said good morning. His voice was always deepest in the early hours, and sometimes he sounded like a completely different person. The closer we got, the cozier the mornings felt. In the very beginning it was just a head nod or maybe a wave. But by the time we left the X-Factor house, he’d be curled up in my arms in his purple jumper and his hair all tousled by a good night’s sleep. He’d turn to see me already watching him, and he’d just smile, eyes falling shut again, and he’d tell me good morning. He’d tell me was glad to see me, glad to have me there. All I could say was “me too.”

I still remember the first time he called me baby. It took me completely surprise, and in all honesty I think my heart stopped beating for a few seconds. We were just standing in his room, music playing in the background, and he held out his hand. 

“Dance with me?” he had asked.

I, of course, said yes, and we started dancing. It was more just swaying in place, our arms tight around each other, but I like to think of it as dancing. I remember he brushed his hand down my arm, and he felt how chilled my skin was.

“Do you want my sweater, baby?” was what he said. I stumbled over my words for a few seconds, eventually saying, “yes, thank you,” but the whole thing was such a mess. He must have known then how dumbstruck he left me every time he just was Harry.

The first time he told me he loved me I knew he would be the death of me. He had woken up with a pounding migraine, and he stayed in bed so long he missed breakfast. I took some food up to him, but he said all he wanted was for me to lie next to him. I was already ready for the day, and I was having a great hair day, but I crawled up on the bed right next to him. He put his back up against my chest and curled his legs around mine. I would have thought he went back to sleep except he was absentmindedly running his hand up and down my forearm I had wrapped around his waist.

At some point I managed to convince him to get out of bed, telling him we had lots to rehearse, but I made sure to load him with Advil and tons of water. All day I had to remind the other boys to keep it down. They always yelled and jokingly threw things at each other back then, but Harry’s headache just wouldn’t go away. After a few failed attempts to get them to shut up, I led Harry to some dressing room so he could relax while we rehearsed without him. Niall and Zayn sang his solos, and every break we got I’d take some water and snacks out for Harry. Most of the times I went in he was asleep, curled up so tightly on the couch under the blanket I’d placed over him the first time I’d found him sleeping soundly. 

When rehearsal was finally over for the day, Harry was awake in the dressing room. He said his headache had subsided to a small pain at that point, and he thanked me for all the snacks and bottles of water I’d brought in. They were left mostly untouched, piled up on the table next to him. He said no one had ever been so concerned with his well-being before, and I told him he was just exaggerating. To that he just shook his head and pulled me down onto the couch, tickling my sides as I laughed and tried to squirm out of his grasp. When we both had stopped laughing, and I was just lying there, out of breath, he stared at me for the longest time. 

Then he whispered it. At first I thought I hadn’t heard him right or that I had just imagined it, but when I asked him what he’d said, he told me again that he loved me. In fact, he worded it as, “I’m in love with you, Louis.” And then he leaned down and kissed me. And I couldn’t believe this was what the rest of my life was going to be like. Because I knew he was my forever. And I knew I was the luckiest fucking person in the world.

I also remember the first time he questioned my love for him. That hurt more than he had intended it to, but I made sure he knew I was all in. Basically, I had always told him that I loved his hair. I loved the different ways he’d wear it and all the ways he’d run his hands through it. My favorite pastime was just mushing up his curls, and he knew it. But one day he looked at me, face all serious, and asked, “What about when I’m ancient and my hair’s all gray and fallen out? What about then?”

At first I let out a little laugh, thinking he was just joking. He didn’t seriously think his looks were what made me love him, did he? But when he stayed pouting and crossed his arms at my chuckling, I knew he was being serious.

“Oh, sweet Harold,” I said, smiling and mussing up his curls again, “You honestly think your hair is what’s keeping me here?”

He didn’t reply, pursing his lips. I had to bite back a laugh at how cute he looked.

“Harry, I love you hair, sure, but you could be bald and I’d still want to walk down an aisle for you. And fuck your brains out,” I said. Then his cold demeanor broke, laughing right along with me. 

Anyway, I guess you could say it truly is the small things that led me to believe he was the one person I wanted by my side. It was mainly the way he treated me—always with respect, always attentive, always so damn kind.

Above all else, Harry was just a great fucking person to be in a relationship with. He’d always drone on and on about how lovely it was I accepted him for who he truly was, which was true and all, but he didn’t seem to realize how much he did the same for me.

Sure, I didn’t flinch when he said he liked painting his nails, and I didn’t care at all when he suggested we just cuddle for the first year of our budding relationship because he was insecure back then. But he always laughed at my bad jokes, and he would be the one to listen to me rant about some stupid thing I’d forget about by the morning. He’d tell me I looked beautiful when I looked like shit. He’d hold my hand when all I wanted to do was punch a wall. He’d look past all my idiotic tendencies and ticks and insecurities. He was never one to judge or try to make it all about him, and he just took me the way I am. And I’ll always be grateful for that. Because he makes me strong.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so there's that. Haha I wrote this at like 4AM after listening to that song, and it's not that great of a drabble but I'm getting really into songfics. Probably gonna make a whole multi-chapter fic to the Years & Years EPs. And I've been mapping out one for 1D's Four, too. 
> 
> Anyway, come say hi on tumblr at ho-for-lou.tumblr.com and feel free to send me prompts.
> 
> Thanks for reading!!


End file.
